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Tackling Networking Anxieties

24 May, 2016 by WIC

 

Lloyds Buiding - London

Here at Women in the City we’re very proud of our events and how we bring people together from many sectors for excellent networking opportunities. Our Annual Symposium is coming up and we’re looking forward to welcoming new people into the Women in the City fold. But what if networking is something that makes you a bit nervous? We asked Karen Pollock, our expert at hand for some tips for tackling networking anxieties…

In my previous article I wrote about courage. About that moment when, after assessing the risks, and the skills that you have, you step forward, just as Grace Darling did. It seemed to strike a chord with many women. Since it came out a few have approached me, and asked what about the smaller, everyday, moments where you don’t feel like Grace, but still need courage?

A repeated refrain has been around networking events. Everyone knows they are beneficial, and so long as you don’t fall on your face into the canapes, they don’t carry many risks. So how do you deal with the churning stomach and fear that can make a simple conversation feel like the most difficult thing ever?

Humans are social animals, people sometimes imagine this means we are natural socialisers. It’s more complicated than that. We evolved to be constantly watching the rest of the group, looking for threats, as well as doing the social bonding we now call networking. Professor Steve Peters, who has worked with Olympic athletes and Premier League  football clubs among others, explores this paradox of our “chimp” heritage in a modern setting. The chimp within our brain is the part which creates the anxiety, the worry something will go wrong, the fear of attack in social settings.

The good news is that we are not still chimps, we also have our human, or what I like to call adult side, who, once it is aware of the source of our anxieties, can take control. However in order to do this we need to follow a few simple steps;

Acknowledge how you feel.

It’s very common to try to ignore anxiety and nerves, to push them away. The problem with this approach is they are most likely to come out when we least want them too. Before an event take some time to acknowledge how you feel, accept that it’s OK, be kind to yourself.

Use the “rational worry box”.

When working with clients we often divide things into the rational and irrational worry boxes. Some things are a legitimate worry, the good thing is, these are the ones which can be most easily tackled. Into the rational worry box might go anxieties such as forgetting names, drinking too much, logistics such at getting there on time and home afterwards and office politics.  All of these things can be dealt with by advance planning and setting strict boundaries in place (for example, sticking to orange juice, or rehearsing how to politely avoid sticky topics)

Allow the adult out.

Adults are rational, make decisions based on facts not emotions, can cope with minor slights, or the bad opinion of others, since they know not everyone will like them. At networking events letting the adult do the talking makes a lot of sense. This is much easier if you have acknowledged the anxieties and dealt with all the contents of the rational worries box

By taking the time to acknowledge your worries, sorting out which are rational, and can be dealt with, and trying as much as possible to stay in “adult” unemotional mode, you may find networking events are a lot less daunting in the future.

Karen Pollock

Karen Pollock MBACP is an experienced, down to earth therapist, passionate about demistifying counseling and working with people to be their best possible selves. She can be contacted via her website, and she is also a keen Twitter user (@CounsellingKaz) and Archers fan. She’ll also be attending our Symposium on 9 June so make sure you say hello! 

 

Tickets are still available  for our symposium via this link

 

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Fly your own Flag!

23 May, 2016 by WIC

In her second film, Keily Blair talks about the importance of telling people about your achievements and how you can miss out on rewards if noone knows who you are or what you have done.  She says “Don’t be afraid to talk about what it is you have achieved”.

 

Wise advice for all and especially those who are shortlisted for the Future Leaders Award!

2015 Future Leader Award winner talks about the importance of talking about your achievements
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Women in the City Annual Symposium Versus A Greek Symposium

15 May, 2016 by WIC

symposia

Plato’s Symposium, depiction by Anselm Feuerbach (1869)

 The definition of a symposium today is a meeting or conference for discussion, especially a meeting at which several speakers talk on or discuss a topic before an audience.

The word symposium comes from Greek and the translation is a ‘To drink together’ and was a tightly choreographed social gathering where men drank together, conversed, and enjoyed themselves in a convivial atmosphere.

The women in the City Annual Symposium certainly will be an enjoyable and convivial experience, but how else will it differ and compare to an ancient Greek Symposium?

Whilst our events always include wine and some delicious food, that really isn’t the main feature, and actually drinking wasn’t the only thing that symposia meant to the Greeks.

The social aspect was very important to the Greeks, a symposium was a time to discuss and debate subjects of politics, philosophy and the issues of the day.  Not so different to what we aim for in our events.

Often, the host of a Greek Symposium would choose a specific topic to discuss.  At our symposium the theme this year is The Resilient Leader, with talks from business leaders and leadership experts with time allowed for attendees to discuss what they have heard and ask questions to the panel. Lively debate and networking are as essential to a Women in the City event as for the ancient Greeks.

2015 Future Leaders Award Symposium

2015 Future Leaders Award Symposium

In his philosophical text Symposium Plato (385-370BC) examines the purpose and nature of love. Plato’s texts are a source used by historians to learn about life in Athens as well as understand more about the processes in a symposium. In Symposium Plato refers to the men taking it turns to talk on the topic of love- other symposiums would have different themes and topics, but it makes clear that these events were carefully orchestrated events and not simply rowdy drinking parties.

A Greek Symposium was overseen by a ‘symposiarch’ who decided what strength of wine and how much could be drunk. They also ensured that debate and revelry didn’t get out of hand.

We have Dr Liz Mellon as our ‘symposiarch’, we’re fairly sure she won’t be keeping an eye on what everyone is drinking nor break up any fights she will be there to facilitate the symposium and help ensure that it runs to time and that everyone gets their say.

Much like a Greek Symposium Women in the City events always run to time and with a clear schedule of events.  The speakers have a specific topic and an amount of time given to speak.

After the symposium there will be an opportunity to continue the conversations and meet with the speakers, just as the ancient Greeks did.

Only men allowed…

Greek symposiums were for men only, held in the men’s quarters of the house.  The only women in attendance would have been high class prostitutes who were especially skilled in playing musical instruments or gymnastics or other cultural entertainment.

Whilst women were not allowed to attend a symposium the subject of gender differences was sometimes discussed and certainly business was a common topic.

Our event is very much about celebrating women, but we also encourage men along. We believe that men have to be part of the conversation when it comes to business and gender equality. Our symposium will be a useful learning experience for everyone.

Symposium scene

Often young men were invited along to symposiums as an introduction into society, to allow them to meet with elders who could assist them in their careers, politics or marriage prospects.

We are often thanked after our events for introducing people and many women have met their mentors and made new friends. One of the thing our 2015 shortlisted candidates have told us is that they love they fact they have found themselves part of a new network of women with similar goals and ambitions from other sectors.

We’re not claiming to be ‘introducing young women into society’ of course, but our events are a great way to meet like-minded people and for women starting out in their career networking and meeting more experienced people is an important part of being a successful leader.

Celebrating Success

Symposiums in ancient Greece were often held for specific reasons, to celebrate a victory in athletic or poetic competition for example. We will be celebrating the success of our shortlisted candidates for the Future Leaders Award and announcing the five finalists and overall winner.

A Conclusion

We are planning an inspiring, information and lively event with debate and discussion useful for business leaders today. The event will be sociable and fun with plenty of opportunity to make new contacts.  Unlike the Greek symposia there will be plenty of women!

Tickets are still available for our symposium, you can go directly to our booking page here.

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21st Century Leadership Event in film

13 May, 2016 by WIC

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Earlier this month Women in the City partnered with AT Kearney to launch their new report: A Portrait of 21st Century Leadership hosted by the London Campus of the University of Chicago Booth School of Business.

This is a global study that aims to identify the recipe for success among leaders of today.  It was carried out during a 10-year period and is based on a sample of 4,000 listed companies that generated the highest value between 2003-2012 in terms of economic profit and sales growth.

Inna Baigozina, UK Partner at A.T. Kearney, presented the findings and the Q&A session was  facilitated by our CEO and Founder Gwen Rhys. Some of our previous award winners contributed to the study.

The evening was a huge success with over 100 attendees. There was a vibrant atmosphere, plenty of discussion and new acquaintances made.

Hala Jawad kindly came along to film some of the event and has put together this short film.

You can read more about the report here.

You can follow Hala on Twitter at @jawad_hala

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Tremendous Twelve!

9 May, 2016 by WIC

Future Leaders Award Shortlisted Candidates Announced

After a couple of weeks of very difficult and intense judging we are delighted to announce the twelve candidates who have made it through to the 2016 Future Leaders Award Shortlist.

We had a record number of nominations and Applications this year, in fact applications rose by 45% this year on last. Not only that, the calibre of candidates was extremely high giving our judges an even tougher time than usual.

However, thanks to our simple yet robust judging system we now have 12 outstanding women in our shortlist. They will all be interviewed by our Main Judging Panel on 17 May and the finalists and overall winner decided.

Lauren Garey Banker J.P. Morgan
Debs Harding Head of Engagement, Financial and Professional Services Welsh Government
Alison Hemsworth National Programme Lead Pharmacy Contracts and Projects NHS England
Najwa Jawahar Senior Structural Engineer WSP | Parsons Brinkerhoff
Dara Kirton Manager – Consulting PwC
Kitty McCormick Director, Lending & Capital Management Coutts
Karina Mowbray Director – IT Risk Financial Services Deloitte LLP
Rachel Onojafe Manager Deloitte Digital
Laura Scaife Associate Solicitor Addleshaw Goddard
Laura Stuart-Berry Chief of Staff to the CEO Grant Thornton UK LLP
Tracy Waind Head of Global Commercial Finance – GTA Kuoni Global Travel Services
Lynne Wells Principal Associate Eversheds LLP
Lauren Garey- Finalist
Debs Harding
Alison Hemsworth

Najwa Jawahar
Dara Kirton -Finalist
Kitty McCormick

Karina Mowbray
Rachel Onojafe
Laura Scaife

Laura Stuart-Berry
Tracy Waind
Lynne Wells

 

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Former Brigadier and Diversity Champ joins Judging Panel

20 April, 2016 by WIC

Nicky Moffat CBE

We are thrilled to announce that Nicky Moffat CBE will be joining the Main Judging Panel for the Future Leaders Award.

Nicky was previously the UK’s most senior woman in the Army, she was responsible for the leadership, professional output and standards of 4500 soldiers and for delivering major business and cultural change.

Nicky now undertakes leadership development, career and coaching consultancy to help companies develop their leadership capability and talent pipelines and to accelerate necessary cultural change.

As an advisor, keynote speaker, coach and mentor, Nicky offers training and support, inspiration, practical advice and tools. Her clients include UK, multinational and global corporations and businesses, specialising in sectors as diverse as financial services, oil and energy, transport, media communications, technology and law.

Nicky told us;

“I’m delighted to have been asked to join the main judging panel for the Future Leaders Award 2016. The stakes are high with the prestigious prize of a place on the ICAEW Women in Leadership Programme.
In my experience, great leaders are emotionally intelligent, reflective and self-aware. They seek out knowledge, develop strategic awareness and seize opportunities to learn and add value outside their lane. They position themselves at the forefront of change, motivating and inspiring others to get them on board. They build trusting relationships, seek out different perspectives, encourage innovation and solve problems through shared wisdom. They place a premium on the development and empowerment of teams and individuals, seeing leadership as a responsibility – a service to others – not just a role.
I very much look forward to assessing these attributes and behaviours in what promises to be a very strong field of candidates. I know too that I’ll be personally inspired by their achievements, both as leaders and as women.”
The judging for the 2016 Future Leaders Award is underway, the ten shortlisted candidates will be invited to an interview with the Main Judging Panel on 17 May.
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Why don’t women self-nominate?

18 March, 2016 by WIC

Lloyds Buiding - London

“Good gosh no! I couldn’t possibly!”

“Wouldn’t that look a bit showy-offy?”

“Oh I couldn’t! Wouldn’t that be a bit… oh you know…”

Just some of the reactions when we suggest to a woman that she nominates herself for the Future Leaders Award and usually accompanied with a look of horror! It’s not even pretend modesty, many women genuinely consider nominating themselves for an award as pushy, arrogant or just not the done thing.

Why is that? It has been suggested that when we are children we are told not to show off. Indeed bragging about how big our house is or how you did so much better than everyone else in the spelling test doesn’t win anyone any friends. It’s right that our parents and teachers told us not to do this. However, very few of us ever learn how to reconcile the virtue of humility with the need to promote ourselves later in life and therefore putting yourself forward doesn’t come naturally to many.

Last year only 20% of the 63 nominations for the Future Leaders Award were self nominated and so far this year only 15% of nominees have put themselves forward.

It’s not only us, the Australian the Telstra Business Women’s Awards reported similar findings in their 2009 awards where 86% of their nominees were nominated by someone else.

Not that it matters whether someone is self nominated or put forward by someone else, but it seems a shame that some amazing women might be missing out.

And it isn’t just awards, women tend to be worse at applying for jobs or promotion, asking for payrises or additional perks in their organisations.

When a man, imaging his future career, looks in the mirror, he sees a senator staring back. A woman would never be so presumptuous

Marie C. Wilson, author of Closing the Leadership Gap.

According to a Hewlett Packard study men apply for a job when they meet only 60% of the qualifications, but women apply only if they meet 100% of them. The main reason women chose not to apply for a job was because they were concerned they would wasting their time as they were not fully qualified for the role. Men have no such qualms about applying for jobs if they don’t quite fit the criteria.

In a project funded by the Leadership Foundation for Higher Education with 30 mid-career women in academia at London universities it was discovered that women believed that men were much better at putting themselves forward.  They felt men prioritised putting themselves forward, both in communicating their own success and applying for jobs and grants.

…men accumulated prestige more easily and were more visible—and louder—in portraying it.

Kamille Kandiko Howson for Wonkhe

Women put other aspects of their job before self promotion. In a sector which has gender parity at the early stages women hold only one-third of senior lecturer and senior manager positions and a quarter of professorships. Is this down to the fact that women are less inclined to promote themselves and put themselves forward for promotions or research funding?

So, why not buck the trend and put yourself forward for the Future Leader Award. This could be an opportunity for you to reflect on and express your successes as well as get noticed within your organisation?!

Self Nominate

To nominate yourself for the Future Leaders Award (or indeed someone else!), this link will take you directly to the nomination form.

If you require further information have a read of our criteria or feel free to contact our Awards Manager Helen Marsters 

FLAwardNominateNowButtonHYPERLINK

 

Incidentally, when researching this post when googling Why don’t women self nominate, Google autocompleted with Why don’t women… like me? So maybe men have their own insecurities!

References and further reading

Women too modest to nominate for awards?, Business Acumen Magazine.

Women need to step forward, Women in Pharma.

Why Don’t women apply for jobs unless they are 100% Qualified?, Harvard Business Review

Peacock or Perish, Prestige and gender in academia, Camille Kandiko Howsen for Wonkhe.com

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Cultivating Resilience

16 March, 2016 by WIC

 

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The Resilient Leader is this year’s Leadership Symposium topic. Karen Pollock explains here how being resilient can be something we all can be.

Resilience is a practice, not a trait

Sometimes people express surprise that despite living almost on the borders with Scotland I grow my own grapes (admittedly in a greenhouse) It is an unheated greenhouse however, with a vine that each September is laden with a harvest of sweet grapes, golden amidst the autumn leaves.

The vine is also a very useful tool for exploring the idea of resilience with people who have come to believe that it’s a quality you either have or don’t, and there is nothing you can do to change this.

Spotting the Signs

If I want a bumper crop in autumn, the work starts in the spring, ensuring the new buds are healthy, fungus free and strong. In order to do this, I have to know what to look for, and what the warning signs of future problems are.

If you want to cultivate resilience you need firstly to be able to spot when things are starting to deviate from normal. More tired than usual? Snapping at work colleagues? Finding presentations more of a struggle than usual?

Resilience means being aware of changes in your moods, your reactions, your energy levels, your responses to stress, not once they become an issue, but before hand.

Pruning

Come July I have to do one of the hardest tasks if you grow grapes, I have to ruthlessly cut healthy, growing, clusters of young grapes. If I don’t the vine will try to grow all of them and I will end up with nothing worth harvesting.

So it is with cultivating resilience. A myth that women can do it all, have it all, has grown up, often leading to burnout. Look at those things in your life which sap your energy, which prevent you achieving your goals, which ones might need to be trimmed so you can reap the harvest you want?

Resilience isn’t a trait some are born with, but a set of healthy, life affirming behaviours which all come together to mean you can weather the storms, survive the winters, and just like my vine, produce great fruits year after year.

 

Karen PollockKaren Pollock MBACP is an experienced, down to earth therapist, passionate about demistifying counseling and working with people to be their best possible selves. She can be contacted via her website, and she is also a keen Twitter user (@CounsellingKaz) and Archers fan.

 

 

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Get an Award, Get Noticed!

4 March, 2016 by WIC

Gwen Rhys

Natasha Stromberg interviewed Women in the City Founder & CEO Gwen Rhys last week for her newsletter. We are delighted to be able to reproduce it here.

NS: What is ‘Women in the City’ doing that differentiates them in the field of Female Leadership?
GR: I think we’re often “ahead of the curve”.  Women in the City grew as an organisation from an Annual Lunch launched in November 2003 when 200 professional women,  mostly working in the City of London, came together to hear an inspirational speaker, to share experiences and have some fun. Having organised 4 successful Lunches, we introduced the ‘Woman of Achievement Award’ in 2007.  Although there were already awards for women working in specific sectors and a number of awards for female entrepreneurs there was nothing that recognised C-suite and Partner level women who were actively championing the progress of women in their organisations.
In 2010, the buzz was ‘Women on Boards’ and whilst we could have caught that band-wagon, I intuitively knew this was too much, too late.  We deliberately went against the tide and launched the ‘Future Leaders Award’ to recognise women at the point of transition between management and leadership.  We were, of course, talking about the “talent pipeline” long before it became the buzz phrase. For our 10th anniversary in 2012 we published Project Diamond – a handbook for career women which identified key leadership traits and how to develop and hone them, using our Award Winners as role models.

Right now, we’re exploring ways in which Women in the City can contribute to the debate that’s beginning to heard about the Future Workplace including flexible working, agile working, workplace design and more.  Whether that’s awards, white papers, round table discussions, I’m not sure yet. And I’d like to blur the divide between male and female leadership and bring more men into the room so that we can have open discussions and a better understanding of each other.

Why do we need ‘Women in Leadership’ Awards instead of ‘People in Leadership Awards’?
That’s a very good question and in some respects we shouldn’t need to single out women in this way, but, you can’t get away from the fact that the percentage of women at the top of organisations is woefully small.  Even those organisations that we all tend to think of being female friendly or even female dominant are male dominated at the top. Whether it’s the banking or charity sector; media or law; hospitality or accountancy – it’s the same story. We need to spotlight those women who are reaching the top and, crucially, doing so in ways that resonate with other women.  It’s vital, too, that women recognise that there are many different ways of being a leader and that no one woman is the ‘perfect role model’.  Having a variety of female role models enables women to pick and choose what they admire and make their own composite “ideal role model”.  Too often women want one woman who meets their ideal.  This isn’t possible and, interestingly, it’s not something that men do.

Name the one common quality you can identify in all your Award winning leaders?

That’s difficult.  They have the “X” Factor. You know it when you see it, hear it, sense it. They are all women you want to spend time with. Their values are sound, they are thoughtful,  intelligent, honest and down-to-earth.  Moreover they truly “light up the room”.  There’s an energy about them and you want some of it.

How do the Award winner’s careers benefit from winning a Leadership award?

In terms of the Future Leaders Award there’s no doubt that each year the winner and, for that matter, the finalists, too, become more visible. If you’re working in a (global) company employing tens-of-thousands of people, getting yourself onto the radar isn’t easy. We all know that men are better able to “blow their own trumpet” whilst women tend to believe that if they do a good job well they’ll be rewarded.  Winning also gives them a platform to share their experiences and become role models for others. And even for the Woman of Achievement Award which we launched in 2007 to put the spotlight on C-suite and female Partners who are championing the progress of women in their organisations, increased visibility is the often the key outcome for the Winners.  For these women, however, it’s usually about external visibility.  Becoming better known across their industry sector or profession or in the wider business world. In other words: Get an Award, Get Noticed!
 
But just as important are our Award Prize Packages.  Whilst elements of the Package have changed over the years, one thing remains constant – the Personal Development Prize. At Women in the City it’s not just about the razzamatazz of the Award Ceremony, it’s about giving the winner an opportunity to be part of an amazing personal development experience, whether that’s the ICAEW’s Women in Leadership programme for the Future Leaders Award Winner or a place on the University of Chicago Booth School of Business Accelerated Development Program for the Woman of Achievement Winner.

Both these programmes represent an investment of over £12k per person and provide the winners with access to an invaluable opportunity in terms of both learning and access to a unique and influential alumni. There’s also strong evidence that the winners of both our Awards go on to receive either promotion or more stretching roles very soon after winning their awards.

What would you say to a young woman who secretly wants to become a leader but isn’t sure she has those qualities?

I’m interested that you use the word “secretly”.  Maybe she begins by not being so secretive but by voicing her ambition: “one day, I’d really like to be ….”.  There’s nothing wrong with ambition and if you don’t voice it, no-one, least of all yourself, can help you achieve it. Firstly, I would suggest she looks at the leaders around her – men and women – and watch and listen.  And I don’t just mean leaders in the workplace.  What is it that distinguishes them from the rest.  Are there common traits?  Does she have, or can she adopt those traits?

Next, she needs understand in what environment she thrives. What impact do her actions have both on others and on results.  Some leaders, like Churchill, come into their own during a crisis.  Others are the steady types and lead well when the water’s calm.   She should develop self-awareness and shouldn’t necessarily try to change. She should find the right place, the right time, the right circumstances for her.  We’re mostly the same person throughout our lives, it’s the circumstances in which we find ourselves that change.  And invariably it’s these circumstances that make us thrive or not. She needs to find opportunities to step-up that will test her qualities.  She might even think of doing that outside the workplace to begin with, somewhere where the stakes might be less high.

Finally, she needs to reflect on what works well and what works not so well and consider how she can put herself into positive situations.  Then she needs to continue this process, stepping-up a little more each time and move her leadership aspirations into the workplace by volunteering for internal projects; seeking out mentors (male and female) and crucially sponsors; seeking promotional opportunities and eventually putting herself forward for the Future Leaders Award!

If you’d like to receive Natasha’s newsletter or learn more about her gender equality employment services visit her website here or you can follow her on Twitter @natashacoach
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Future Leaders Award Launch (Part Two)

22 February, 2016 by WIC

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If you missed the first half of our review of the Future Leaders Award Launch Event click here.

ICAEW’s Bridget Foley talked about their Women in Leadership programme and introduced facilitator Joan O’Connor who presented an interactive session: Play to your strengths; Realise your potential.

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After the interactive session we heard via video from Dr Liz Mellon who is facilitating this year’s Symposium who announced two of the panel are confimed as Brett Lovegrove and Deborah Rowland.

Women in the City Founder and CEO Gwen Rhys spoke next…

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And finally Helen explained the nomination and judging process.

And the call to action!

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Thank you to everyone who tweeted and if you’d like to make a nomination click below:

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Filed Under: Future Leaders Award Latest, WIC News

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