Here at Women in the City we’re very proud of our events and how we bring people together from many sectors for excellent networking opportunities. Our Annual Symposium is coming up and we’re looking forward to welcoming new people into the Women in the City fold. But what if networking is something that makes you a bit nervous? We asked Karen Pollock, our expert at hand for some tips for tackling networking anxieties…

In my previous article I wrote about courage. About that moment when, after assessing the risks, and the skills that you have, you step forward, just as Grace Darling did. It seemed to strike a chord with many women. Since it came out a few have approached me, and asked what about the smaller, everyday, moments where you don’t feel like Grace, but still need courage?

A repeated refrain has been around networking events. Everyone knows they are beneficial, and so long as you don’t fall on your face into the canapes, they don’t carry many risks. So how do you deal with the churning stomach and fear that can make a simple conversation feel like the most difficult thing ever?

Humans are social animals, people sometimes imagine this means we are natural socialisers. It’s more complicated than that. We evolved to be constantly watching the rest of the group, looking for threats, as well as doing the social bonding we now call networking. Professor Steve Peters, who has worked with Olympic athletes and Premier League  football clubs among others, explores this paradox of our “chimp” heritage in a modern setting. The chimp within our brain is the part which creates the anxiety, the worry something will go wrong, the fear of attack in social settings.

The good news is that we are not still chimps, we also have our human, or what I like to call adult side, who, once it is aware of the source of our anxieties, can take control. However in order to do this we need to follow a few simple steps;

Acknowledge how you feel.

It’s very common to try to ignore anxiety and nerves, to push them away. The problem with this approach is they are most likely to come out when we least want them too. Before an event take some time to acknowledge how you feel, accept that it’s OK, be kind to yourself.

Use the “rational worry box”.

When working with clients we often divide things into the rational and irrational worry boxes. Some things are a legitimate worry, the good thing is, these are the ones which can be most easily tackled. Into the rational worry box might go anxieties such as forgetting names, drinking too much, logistics such at getting there on time and home afterwards and office politics.  All of these things can be dealt with by advance planning and setting strict boundaries in place (for example, sticking to orange juice, or rehearsing how to politely avoid sticky topics)

Allow the adult out.

Adults are rational, make decisions based on facts not emotions, can cope with minor slights, or the bad opinion of others, since they know not everyone will like them. At networking events letting the adult do the talking makes a lot of sense. This is much easier if you have acknowledged the anxieties and dealt with all the contents of the rational worries box

By taking the time to acknowledge your worries, sorting out which are rational, and can be dealt with, and trying as much as possible to stay in “adult” unemotional mode, you may find networking events are a lot less daunting in the future.

Karen Pollock MBACP is an experienced, down to earth therapist, passionate about demistifying counseling and working with people to be their best possible selves. She can be contacted via her website, and she is also a keen Twitter user (@CounsellingKaz) and Archers fan. She’ll also be attending our Symposium on 9 June so make sure you say hello! 

Tickets are still available  for our symposium via this link

In her second film, Keily Blair talks about the importance of telling people about your achievements and how you can miss out on rewards if noone knows who you are or what you have done.  She says “Don’t be afraid to talk about what it is you have achieved”.

Wise advice for all and especially those who are shortlisted for the Future Leaders Award!

2015 Future Leader Award winner talks about the importance of talking about your achievements

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Plato’s Symposium, depiction by Anselm Feuerbach (1869)

 The definition of a symposium today is a meeting or conference for discussion, especially a meeting at which several speakers talk on or discuss a topic before an audience.

The word symposium comes from Greek and the translation is a ‘To drink together’ and was a tightly choreographed social gathering where men drank together, conversed, and enjoyed themselves in a convivial atmosphere.

The women in the City Annual Symposium certainly will be an enjoyable and convivial experience, but how else will it differ and compare to an ancient Greek Symposium?

Whilst our events always include wine and some delicious food, that really isn’t the main feature, and actually drinking wasn’t the only thing that symposia meant to the Greeks.

The social aspect was very important to the Greeks, a symposium was a time to discuss and debate subjects of politics, philosophy and the issues of the day.  Not so different to what we aim for in our events.

Often, the host of a Greek Symposium would choose a specific topic to discuss.  At our symposium the theme this year is The Resilient Leader, with talks from business leaders and leadership experts with time allowed for attendees to discuss what they have heard and ask questions to the panel. Lively debate and networking are as essential to a Women in the City event as for the ancient Greeks.

2015 Future Leaders Award Symposium

In his philosophical text Symposium Plato (385-370BC) examines the purpose and nature of love. Plato’s texts are a source used by historians to learn about life in Athens as well as understand more about the processes in a symposium. In Symposium Plato refers to the men taking it turns to talk on the topic of love- other symposiums would have different themes and topics, but it makes clear that these events were carefully orchestrated events and not simply rowdy drinking parties.

A Greek Symposium was overseen by a ‘symposiarch’ who decided what strength of wine and how much could be drunk. They also ensured that debate and revelry didn’t get out of hand.

We have Dr Liz Mellon as our ‘symposiarch’, we’re fairly sure she won’t be keeping an eye on what everyone is drinking nor break up any fights she will be there to facilitate the symposium and help ensure that it runs to time and that everyone gets their say.

Much like a Greek Symposium Women in the City events always run to time and with a clear schedule of events.  The speakers have a specific topic and an amount of time given to speak.

After the symposium there will be an opportunity to continue the conversations and meet with the speakers, just as the ancient Greeks did.

Only men allowed…

Greek symposiums were for men only, held in the men’s quarters of the house.  The only women in attendance would have been high class prostitutes who were especially skilled in playing musical instruments or gymnastics or other cultural entertainment.

Whilst women were not allowed to attend a symposium the subject of gender differences was sometimes discussed and certainly business was a common topic.

Our event is very much about celebrating women, but we also encourage men along. We believe that men have to be part of the conversation when it comes to business and gender equality. Our symposium will be a useful learning experience for everyone.

Symposium scene

Often young men were invited along to symposiums as an introduction into society, to allow them to meet with elders who could assist them in their careers, politics or marriage prospects.

We are often thanked after our events for introducing people and many women have met their mentors and made new friends. One of the thing our 2015 shortlisted candidates have told us is that they love they fact they have found themselves part of a new network of women with similar goals and ambitions from other sectors.

We’re not claiming to be ‘introducing young women into society’ of course, but our events are a great way to meet like-minded people and for women starting out in their career networking and meeting more experienced people is an important part of being a successful leader.

Celebrating Success

Symposiums in ancient Greece were often held for specific reasons, to celebrate a victory in athletic or poetic competition for example. We will be celebrating the success of our shortlisted candidates for the Future Leaders Award and announcing the five finalists and overall winner.

A Conclusion

We are planning an inspiring, information and lively event with debate and discussion useful for business leaders today. The event will be sociable and fun with plenty of opportunity to make new contacts.  Unlike the Greek symposia there will be plenty of women!

Tickets are still available for our symposium, you can go directly to our booking page here.

Future Leaders Award Shortlisted Candidates Announced

After a couple of weeks of very difficult and intense judging we are delighted to announce the twelve candidates who have made it through to the 2016 Future Leaders Award Shortlist.

We had a record number of nominations and Applications this year, in fact applications rose by 45% this year on last. Not only that, the calibre of candidates was extremely high giving our judges an even tougher time than usual.

However, thanks to our simple yet robust judging system we now have 12 outstanding women in our shortlist. They will all be interviewed by our Main Judging Panel on 17 May and the finalists and overall winner decided.

We are thrilled to announce that Nicky Moffat CBE will be joining the Main Judging Panel for the Future Leaders Award.

Nicky was previously the UK’s most senior woman in the Army, she was responsible for the leadership, professional output and standards of 4500 soldiers and for delivering major business and cultural change.

Nicky now undertakes leadership development, career and coaching consultancy to help companies develop their leadership capability and talent pipelines and to accelerate necessary cultural change.

As an advisor, keynote speaker, coach and mentor, Nicky offers training and support, inspiration, practical advice and tools. Her clients include UK, multinational and global corporations and businesses, specialising in sectors as diverse as financial services, oil and energy, transport, media communications, technology and law.

Nicky told us;

“I’m delighted to have been asked to join the main judging panel for the Future Leaders Award 2016. The stakes are high with the prestigious prize of a place on the ICAEW Women in Leadership Programme.

In my experience, great leaders are emotionally intelligent, reflective and self-aware. They seek out knowledge, develop strategic awareness and seize opportunities to learn and add value outside their lane. They position themselves at the forefront of change, motivating and inspiring others to get them on board. They build trusting relationships, seek out different perspectives, encourage innovation and solve problems through shared wisdom. They place a premium on the development and empowerment of teams and individuals, seeing leadership as a responsibility – a service to others – not just a role.

I very much look forward to assessing these attributes and behaviours in what promises to be a very strong field of candidates. I know too that I’ll be personally inspired by their achievements, both as leaders and as women.”